Gap Year

Hey Ya'll.
It's nearly the end of summer 2013. Summer never seems to last long enough. But I think this year was about right. A lot of crazy stuff happened over the past few months. But this post isn't really to recap summer, or to update you on everything that's happened in my life since the last time I posted. Because considering the last time I posted, that would take forever. Right now, I'm more interested in right now, and what's ahead.

I am officially a "freshman" in college, though technically I have enough college credits to be a junior, which is mind blowing to me. I won't be going off to a four college right away, I have 5 credits of math left before I get my AA degree, so I'll be returning to the community college this fall to finish that up, and then the rest of the year will be mine to enjoy. I've heard that this is technically called a "Gap year". I'm relieved that there's a name for it, because I thought I was doing something wrong by not doing the normal thing and going off to school right away, so it makes me feel better about myself knowing that lots of people do it, and that there's a title for that year in between high school and college. I've officially started searching for the 4 year college of my dreams, where I currently plan on taking on a major in Photography. I decided photography is something that I could really benefit from having some real instruction in. It's something I'm very passionate about, and I decided that it would be the best kind of "career" to have while also being a home maker, which is my real goal in life. Children are my favorite. Families are the best. If you can juggle a small business while raising a family, you are superwoman. My goal is superwoman. :)

A few weeks ago, I got back from a trip that my sisters and I took across the country to deposit my older sister off at grad school in Virginia. Long story short, we broke down in Iowa and ended up getting only as far as Chicago, which is where my other older sister lives, and flying my the other sister where she needed to be in Virginia. It was a crazy trip. But anyway, I'm back now, and being away from home for so long kinda gave me the inspiration I needed to get going on a lot of the activities I love to do. So for example, I've been spending a ton of time on photography and editing my photos and doing random photo shoots. I talk a little bit about that on THIS blog. (click da link)
I've also been working on some recording projects and writing music, which is fantastic. I've never really been brave enough to write my own songs. I always worry that I'm not creative enough, or that my lyrics will be to sickeningly cleshe. But I've really just been goin for it lately. I write down whats on my heart and mind and try not to worry about what comes out. I had a breakthrough the other day that made me really happy. I had written a melody and a few lines of lyrics, and the next morning they were stuck in my head, which to me is something really special. You should be able to remember and enjoy the things you write. And if you can, that's awesome. I'm pretty pleased.

I'm pretty optimistic about this coming school year/life. It is scary, growing up and all. But I feel pretty well taken care of. God is good. I have some beautiful, beautiful people in my life, whether they're across the country or in my home town. Every day I am amazed at how blessed I am.

I feel silly for ending this so abruptly. But I suspect I'll be writing more often. I've got a lot on my mind.

Last month of the year.

*Bashful Smile* Hey Guys. :)
It's the first day of december, it's a saturday evening, and I'm up for some blogging. I haven't blogged in awhile cause I get so caught up in the fact that someone might actually be reading this, that I get a little spooked and never actually post. So my blogger dashboard is filled with about a million and one drafts from this year, and I've only posted once back in July.
Well, it ain't gonna stop me this time! I'm gonna blog, dang it!

Who's stoked for Advent 2012, eh? This girl is. Tomorrow morning, the christmas music will be blasting and the Christmas season will begin! Advent is probably my favorite liturgical season of the year (Lent taking a close second place..) I'm always dumbfounded with the amount of grace that is up for the grabs at this time of year. We have the opportunity to start new habits, to delve deeper into our spiritual lives, and make a home for the baby Jesus in our lives. Of course, this is the case throughout the year. There's never a bad time to strengthen your spiritual life. But there's something special about knowing that the entire church is doing it with you. Your faith community, and the whole world is preparing for four+ weeks for the gift of Christ. It makes me smile just thinking about it. Christ is present, and he gives us these times as invitations to "snuggle" up with him. My family always makes an effort to pray the rosary every night during advent. I always feel like that's the time when my family is most present to each other, when we're praying and we're hearing each other's prayer intentions, and together we're making an effort to become closer to God. And something beautiful always comes out of it. We tend to be more patient with each other, or more joyful, or whatever it is, we're a happier family. So I'm excited.

School has been decent. I've started my second year of Running Start at the Community College. Things are going a lot smoother then they were last year. I think I've gotten the hang of studying and being a full time student. It really is a big deal to accept the fact that school is your life for the time being. I've had to set aside my theatrical endeavors for the time being because I simply cannot commit the time. And that does grieve me. It's hard to see my peers taking on those commitments and seemingly being able to handle both school and their after school extra curricular's, and then looking at my situation and thinking "... I have one thing on my plate... there's no way I'm taking on anything else." I have to force myself not to compare myself with others, and just remember that I will have opportunities later on, but right now, school is priority. *heavy sigh*
Currently, the plan for my future scholastic endeavors is that after I finish up my AA degree this spring, I'm gonna take a year off. Reason being, I'm far too diverse in my interests, and I can't decide what I want to choose to do. I could go to culinary school, I could study theology, I could be an orthodontist, I could be a photographer, the list goes on and on, and I'm just not ready to put my money on anything yet. plus, I'm young. I'm younger then most seniors, not to mention I'm graduating with a two year college degree... so ya know what, I think I can afford a year off. I'm stoked. I'm planning on taking over the world during that year. It's going to be wonderful.

Alrighty, I think that's all for now. It's my bedtime. I wish you all the best!

The days grow ever short.

There was a time when summer seemed like it lasted a lifetime. Now it feels like it's slipping my fingers, and I'm trying to claw it back into my grasp. It's only July, I know. But I can't help but think about how fast the days are going by, and notice all the "back to school" sale advertising that seem to be almost anywhere you look. It was actually kind of amusing... the day school got out, I checked out the Apple website to look at a Macbook Pro to purchase, and they had a back to school add already posted. I just about punched the computer.
So, I completed my first year of college. I am now a senior in high school/sophomore in college. It was a tough year, and things didn't go exactly as I wanted them to. But what does, right? Not my plans, but His. Although it was a pretty dang successful year, it was really tough. And the horse, as it seemed, bucked me off pretty hard. And let me tell you, it's gonna take everything I have in me to get back on that horse again. Especially because I will probably have to take an extra quarter next summer to make up some credits I didn't quite fit in last year. *sigh* not to mention the SAT. But really, I don't think I regret the choice to go to school. I've learned a heck of a lot about who I am, and gained lots of knowledge. Just gotta learn how to swim through it in a more graceful manner next year. Gotta get that technique down.
Where am I now? Well, currently I'm working 36 hours a week at work. Thank goodness I love my job and the people there, or I'd be a wreck. I'm teaching lessons as well as lifeguarding now, and that's put a different feel on things. I'm learning a lot about good communication and articulation with the kids. It's a tough one for me, cause I'm most comfortable talking when I have a script in my hands to tell me what to say, or a something planned out way ahead of time. it takes a lot out of me to have to explain things on the spot. it's definitely a trial and error kind of thing. It's hard not to be discouraged when I don't do as well as I want to when I teach, cause I always want to give my students the best of the best, but there's only so much I can do at times, and I just have to accept that. But I must strive to be the best teacher I can be, for the aak of my students. I'm there to serve them.
I don't really have any other projects going on other then work. I miss theater more than anything in the world. But I just haven't had the time. But oh, what I would give to be back on stage again.
So. Future plans? Well, currently I am planning on finishing up my AA degree and getting those silly requirements out of the way, and then taking a year off before I go to a real school. I decided that I need to know what I want to major in before I go off spending thousands on tuition. I also decided I want to explore every possibility in order to decide. So I'll probably spend that year doing a heck of a lot of theater, shadowing my orthodontist to explore that profession, baking a lot of cookies, and traveling. Man, do I want to travel. I like da plan. I like it a lot.
Alrighty. So there's a scatterbrained account of where I'm at right now. Im mostly just posting this for myself, really. To remind me what I'm doing and what I'm accomplishing. :) All in all, God is good to me. :)

Sustainability, Artificial Contraceptives, and Natural Family Planning.

A few weeks ago, my English 101 teacher assigned a research paper on the topic of sustainability. Sustainability as in saving trees, saving poor lil' animals, recycling, global warming, that kinda stuff. Green stuff. Now, I'm not a real big tree hugger. I'm all for reusing paper and recycling and all that, but I'm not gonna obsess over it. So I was having a really hard time coming up with a topic cause I just don't know a lot about these sorts of things. So I had this skype date with my sister who lives in Michigan, and I was all "I don't know what to write about, I don't know what to do, I don't know anything about these topics, I'm gonna FAIL AND MY LIFE WILL BE OVER." And then she sent me this: Click here. NOW.
You read it? yes? yes? okay. SO. Karen's like "well, if you wanna be really gutsy... you could talk about how Natural Family Planning is a more sustainable then artificial contraceptives." and then I'm like "HECK YEAH LETS BE GUTSY AND WRITE A CONTROVERSIAL PAPER ABOUT ARTIFICIAL CONTRACEPTIVES AND NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING!!!"
So. I present this to my teacher and she's like "there's no way you can do this." Let me tell you, I have never been more determined to do this in my life.... I fought. and guess what? I WON. I wrote an essay on some of the negative effects artificial contraceptives have on the environment, and how much better life would be if everyone used Natural Family Planning. And I would like to present it to you. Because I'm pretty dang proud of myself. My English class thinks I'm totally nuts, but I bet you no one has ever written on this topic before. Talk about standing out on your first quarter of college....
So Here ya go. Introducing Cc the scholar. This is my gutsy essay on birth control.

Considering the Sustainability of Family Planning Methods

Family planning is an important part of our culture, but has the common society ever considered the sustainability of family planning methods? This paper will compare the sustainability of two contraceptive choices: natural family planning and artificial contraceptives such as the pill. It will examine the effects artificial contraceptives and natural family planning have on the environment, taking into consideration waste water pollution, and solid waste minimization. The evidence suggests that natural family planning is a more sustainable method of contraception.

According to the Encyclopedia of Women’s Health, natural family planning is a method of avoiding or achieving a pregnancy by learning the signs and patterns of fertility and abstaining from intercourse during fertile times. Couples observe signs of fertility in the woman by tracking the woman’s body temperature, mucus secretion and other signs. This method is also referred to as the fertility awareness method, the rhythm method, or periodic abstinence (“Natural Family Planning”). It has been proven that natural family planning is as effective as artificial contraceptives. According to Professor Petra Frank-Herrmann, of the University of Heidelerg, Germany, “for a contraceptive method to be rated as highly efficient as the hormonal pill, there should be less than one pregnancy per 100 women per year when the method is used correctly.” Professor Frank-Herrmann conducted a study involving 900 woman using the symptothermal method (STM) of natural family planning. She reports that “the pregnancy rate for woman who used the STM method correctly in our study was 0.4%, which can be interpreted as one pregnancy occurring per 250 woman per year” (“Natural Family Planning As Effective As Contraceptive Pill, New Research Finds”). Since the effectiveness of natural family planning is equal to, or greater than that of artificial contraceptive methods with the failure rate of Oral contraceptives currently standing at 0.7%, (Jurgen Dinger et al.) Professor Frank-Herrmann maintains that natural family planning is “an effective and acceptable method of family planning” (“Natural Family Planning as Effective as Contraceptive Pill, New Research Finds”).  Natural family planning can be seen as an acceptable and possible method of contraception.

Not only is natural family planning as effective as artificial contraception, it is also less harmful to our environment. Artificial contraceptives negatively effect the environment by introducing hormones into the water. Hormonal contraceptives prevent pregnancy by increasing the levels of certain hormones in a women’s body. Traces of the hormones are present in the urine of women who use contraceptives such as the pill, patches, and vaginal rings.  As recorded in an article in Biotech Business Week “Researchers at Umea University and the Sahlgrenska Academy at the University of Gothenburg, Sweden have discovered that traces of many medicines can be found in fish that have been swimming in treated waste water” (“University of Gothenburg; Medicine residues may threaten fish reproduction”). The article continues “the study shows that levonorgestrel - which is found in many contraceptive pills, including the morning-after pill - can impact on the environment and constitutes a risk factor for the ability of fish to reproduce.” Joakim Larsson at the Sahlgrenska Academy, one of the researchers behind the study states that “If we know how our medicines affect the environment, we will be in a better position to choose environmentally friendly alternatives“(“University of Gothenburg; Medicine residues may threaten fish reproduction”). Natural family planning is one alternative that will not hurt our environment.

Another factor to consider in comparing the two carbon footprints is the amount of solid waste generated by each contraceptive method. A truly sustainable form of contraception would not produce waste that contributes to landfills. Christopher Mims describes the importance of reducing waste in his article “Landfills” published in Scientific American.

Americans generate 2.50 million tons of trash every year, of which only 83 million tons--about a third--gets recycled or composted. The rest goes into landfills, which are essentially giant factories that convert garbage into toxic materials and greenhouse gases. Water leaching through the detritus picks up industrial chemicals and heavy metals, all too often depositing those poisons in nearby groundwater supplies. Meanwhile anaerobic bacteria convert organic matter into methane, a greenhouse gas more potent than carbon dioxide.

It is highly important that we minimize the amount of waste we are producing. Artificial Contraceptives generate waste from their packaging. This may seem like a small impact, but a study in 2008 shows that 61 percent of women in the United States use contraceptives (Mosher WD, Jones J.). When we put into perspective the amount of women using the pill, we can estimate the large amount of solid waste this is creating. Natural family planning generates no waste. Even if it seems like a little thing to cut down on waste like packaging from contraceptive methods, it is highly beneficial to the environment when we minimize our waste and decrease our carbon footprint.

Natural family planning is an effective and sustainable method of family planning, using only the tools Mother Nature has presented us with. It creates no waste, releases no hormones into the environment, and leads to a healthier life style. Natural family planning could be one small step in our road to sustainability and healthy living.

Work Cited

Dinger, Jurgen et al, “Effectiveness of Oral Contraceptive Pills in a Large U.S Cohort Comparing Progestogen and Regimen.” Obstetrics & Gynecology 117.1 (2011): 1. Web. 5 Nov. 2011

Herrman, Frank P., et al. “The Effectiveness of a fertility awareness based method to avoid pregnancy in relation to a couple’s sexual behavior during the fertile time: a prospective longitudinal study.” Human Reproduction. 22.5 (2007): 1310-1319 ProQuest Research Library. Web. 25 Oct.2011

Mims, Christopher. “Landfills.” Science American 303.3 (2010):70. Academic Search Complete. Web. 26 Oct.2011

Mosher, WD, and J. Jones. “Use of contraception in the United States 1982–2008.” National Center for Health Statistics. Vital Health Stat 23.29. 2010.

“Natural Family Planning Method As Effective As Contraceptive Pill, New Research Finds." ScienceDaily. N.p. 21 Feb. 2007. Web. 25 Oct. 2011.

“Natural Family Planning." Encyclopedia of Women's Health. Dordrecht: Springer Science+Business Media, 2004. Credo Reference. Web. 26 Oct. 2011.

“Universidy of Gothenburg; Medicine residues may threaten fish reproduction.” Biotech Business Week 3 May. 2010: 1. Proquest. Web. 25 Oct. 2011

So, the next essay we were assigned was a persuasive essay on the same topic. A "take a stand" kinda thing. So, I wrote about how Natural Family Planning needed to be included in the sexual education curriculum. this has a lot of the same info in it, but more of a tone. and I liked it a lot better then the other one. :) Here's my essay on Sexual Education:

Education for a Future of Sustainability in Sexual Education

We are constantly reminded to make sustainable choices in our everyday life. Grocers offer reusable bags as we leave the store. Stickers promoting waste reduction decorate our paper towel dispensers. Commercials remind us to reduce, reuse, and recycle. Eco clubs are formed in schools to protect the environment. But one factor people rarely consider when committing themselves to a sustainable lifestyle is their choice of contraceptive methods. However, new studies show that our contraceptive choices effect the environment. If these consequences were better understood, people would be in a position to make more sustainable choices. Often the first information people gather on contraceptives comes from sexual education programs.  Public schools should introduce methods of contraception that are both effective and sustainable. Natural family planning is one such method. In order to create a sustainable future, Natural Family Planning should be taught in sexual education classes.

Natural family planning (NFP) is a method of avoiding or achieving a pregnancy by learning the signs and patterns of fertility (Encyclopedia of Women’s Health). The woman tracks her fertility by recording her body temperature, mucus secretions, and other signs. In order to avoid pregnancy, the couple abstains from intercourse during fertile times. This is referred to as the symptothermal method.  NFP is also known as the fertility awareness method, the rhythm method, or periodic abstinence. This method, though it takes a considerable amount of commitment, is effective and beneficial to the environment.

Unlike NFP, artificial contraceptives negatively affect the environment by introducing hormones into the water through waste water. Hormonal contraceptives prevent pregnancy by increasing the levels of certain hormones in a woman’s body. Traces of these hormones are present in the urine of women who use contraceptives such as the pill, patches, and vaginal rings. Researchers at Umea University and the Sahlgrenska Academy at the University of Gothenburg, Sweden, discovered traces of these same hormones in the blood of fish that have been swimming in treated waste water. (“University of Gothenburg; Medicine residues may threaten fish reproduction”). An article in Biotech Business Week reports, “the study shows that levonorgestrel - which is found in many contraceptive pills, including the morning-after pill - can impact on the environment and constitutes a risk factor for the ability of fish to reproduce.”
In choosing hormonal contraceptives, we alter the eco system for the worse.

When measuring the impact of our contraceptive choices on the environment, we must also consider the waste generated by each method. A study in 2008 found that 10.7 million women in the united states were currently using oral contraceptives (Mosher and Jones 19). Consider how much packaging this generates. Much of this packaging is disposed of in landfills. In his article “Landfills”, Christopher Mims describes the negative impact this has on the environment:

                        landfills, […] are essentially giant factories that convert garbage into toxic materials and greenhouse gases. Water leaching through the detritus picks up industrial chemicals and heavy metals, all too often depositing those poisons in nearby groundwater supplies. Meanwhile anaerobic bacteria convert organic matter into methane, a greenhouse gas more potent than carbon dioxide.  (Mims)

In comparison, NFP generates no waste, and therefore does not contribute to toxic landfills that threaten our environment.

One reason educators might be hesitant to include NFP in a sexual education curriculum is due to concerns about its effective rate. This is partially because of its historical background. When the method was first developed in the 1930’s, it consisted of recording only the length of the women’s menstrual cycle, and the days in between in order to determine the fertility of a the women. This is referred to as the rhythm method, and is not very effective. In an article in The European Journal of Contraception and Reproductive Health Care Scientist Gunter Freundl explains that, because the length of a woman’s cycle varies, the length and timing of the fertility window changes with each cycle. (Freundl 116). The rhythm method is often what comes to mind when people hear the phrase “Natural family planning.”  

However, as science has developed through the years, factors such as tracking mucus secretions and basal body temperature have been discovered, creating a far more accurate and effective method. This is known as the Symptothermal method (STM). In fact, it has been demonstrated that NFP is as effective as artificial contraceptives. In 2007, Professor Frank-Herrmann of the University of Heidelerg, Germany conducted a study involving 900 woman using STM. She reports that “the pregnancy rate for woman who used the STM method correctly in our study was 0.4%.” (“Natural Family Planning As Effective As Contraceptive Pill, New Research Finds”). The failure rate of Oral contraceptives currently stands at 0.7%, (Jurgen Dinger et al.) Since the effectiveness of NFP is equal to, or greater than that of artificial contraceptive methods. Professor Frank-Herrmann maintains that NFP is “an effective and acceptable method of family planning” (“Natural Family Planning as Effective as Contraceptive Pill, New Research Finds”). NFP has evolved since the 1930’s; therefore, educators need not hesitate to include NFP as an option in their sexual education programs.

As an additional benefit, NFP is free from negative side effects.  Contraceptives come with many health risks including blood clots, heart attacks, strokes, depression, ovarian cysts, and other serious conditions. (Office on Women’s Health. 8) Minor side effects include weight gain, vision problems, irregular menstrual bleeding, dizziness, headaches, abdominal bloating or pain, and others. (Office on Women’s Health. 8)  The education systems should be cautioning their students on these risks, as well as giving them the option of a healthier alternative.

Many object to NFP because of the commitment it requires. But when we compare the other sustainable life style choices, such as recycling, composting, using reusable bags for grocery’s, buying products that require less packaging, or eating a vegan diet, we can see that sustainability always requires commitment. Teachers don’t hesitate to share information with students about vegan diets, neither should they hesitate to share information about NFP.

Educators already incorporate information about, recycle and energy conservation and endangered species into their curriculum. There is no reason why schools shouldn’t include natural family planning in sexual education programs to give students a more sustainable alternative. It is commonly said that children hold the future in their hands. But it is also what we teach them that will effect what our future holds. It is educators job to provide students with sustainable alternatives, and it is the responsibility of each of us to take the information we’ve been given, and make good choices.

Works Cited

Dinger, Jurgen et al, “Effectiveness of Oral Contraceptive Pills in a Large U.S Cohort Comparing Progestogen and Regimen.” Obstetrics & Gynecology 117.1 (2011): 1. Web. 5 November 2011

Freundl, Gunter, Irving Sivin, and Istvan Batar. “State of the Art of Non-hormonal Methods of contraception: IV. Natural Family planning” The European Journal of Contraception and Reproductive Health Care 15. (2010): 116 Web.

Herrman, Frank P., et al. “The Effectiveness of a fertility awareness based method to avoid pregnancy in relation to a couple’s sexual behavior during the fertile time: a prospective longitudinal study.” Human Reproduction. 22.5 (2007): 1310-1319 ProQuest Research Library. Web. 25 Oct.2011

Mims, Christopher. “Landfills.” Science American 303.3 (2010):70. Academic Search Complete. Web. 26 Oct.2011

Mosher, WD, and J. Jones. “Use of contraception in the United States 1982–2008.” National Center for Health Statistics. Vital Health Stat 23.29. 2010.

“Natural Family Planning Method As Effective As Contraceptive Pill, New Research Finds." ScienceDaily. N.p. 21 Feb. 2007. Web. 25 Oct. 2011.

“Natural Family Planning." Encyclopedia of Women's Health. Dordrecht: Springer Science+Business Media, 2004. Credo Reference. Web. 26 October 2011.

United States. Dept of Health and Human Services. Office on Woman’s Health. Birth Control Methods 2009. Web.

 “Universidy of Gothenburg; Medicine residues may threaten fish reproduction.” Biotech Business Week 3 May. 2010: 1. Proquest. Web. 25 Oct. 2011

But yeah. This was the exciting project I got to work on. It was really hard. I had a break down probably every week and my big sister who's a college graduate had to hold my hand through it all. But it was a good experience. There were several aspects of this subject that I didn't get to touch on, which made me sad, but I was glad I was able to do what I did. It was exciting to be able to stand up for what I believe in. Most of my class had never even heard of natural family planning, so I was able to shed some light on the subject, and everyone was really excited about it which was really cool. 

I go to school. I'm half a college student. I'm doing big things and making people think. I'm learning that I'm not stupid, which is really cool. Life is good. God is good. Amen? Amen.

Right where I belong

This has really been quite the week. I started work. I. Love. It. It's been a little rough at times, learning the ropes and all, but for the most part everyone's been really welcoming and understanding when I mess up. Which I've done a lot. Honestly, I'm having so much fun working that it doesn't even seem like a job. I feel like I'm just there because I love it. I think that's pretty cool. I love being around people and making sure everyone's safe. I love being able to people watch without it being creepy. ;) I love the professionalism, but slight goofiness of my fellow co-workers. I love feeling like I'm apart of something big. I love cleaning and knowing that I'm helping make the building run smoothly. it's really quite fantastic. And I love knowing that I'm going to be learning a lot of life skills while I'm doing this job. Direct communication for instance. I'm not very good at that. But this is a job where you HAVE to be direct. Especially at the Y, they make a point to speak directly with their patrons. When you tell someone not to do something, if possible, you get down from your stand, and talk to the patron about what they're doing wrong, how they could get hurt, and what they could do instead. It's really very affective and direct and just fabulous! I love it. It's a little tricky for me, but I'm glad that's the way it is. I'm also gonna learn how to be assertive and enforce rules effectively. And that's also pretty exciting. There are a lot of other things too, but those are some big ones.
I must admit, the job is a bit lonely. I don't usually talk to the other lifeguards unless I'm cleaning with them, or I have a question. And even then it's kind of short and curt. there are certain people I do talk to more then others, and I enjoy their company, but for the most part I'm on my own. And that's okay. The loneliness gives me time to chat with God. :) On my 15-30 minute breaks, I like to go over to the teen room and talk to the employees over there. Jeez, those guys are some of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. They're fun, and they want to know about you, and they're just so kind and understanding. I was watching them work with the other teens there and it was just beautiful. It's really fantastic and I just love being over there. :)

I think my favorite part of the day is between Surveillance duty, during the 15 minutes I get to clean the bathrooms and squeegee the deck and do what ever little chores need to be done. as crazy as that sounds. I love to sing in the big bathrooms with the fabulous acoustics. I love to dance with the squeegee. I love doin jigs across the pool deck so that I keep my blood moving. I love testing the chemicals in the pool, and watching the water in the tube go from pink to clear to pink again. It's just so fun. SO FUN. I also love working on the splash pad, and being able to talk to the kids I'm guarding and stuff. not to a point to distract me, but enough to get my fill of children. I love kids. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
So yeah. It's a fabulous place for a Cc. God is so good for setting me up exactly where I need to be. I'm just so thankful. He is so GOOD!

I'm kinda floating on top of the world. can you tell? hahahhaa.

So. Today being my day off, I decided to bake something. we're having a guest over for a movie tonight, so we called him and asked what special treat he would like to have while we watch the movie. And what does he say? Creme Brulee. My first thought was "WHAT THE HECK!?". My second was "jeez, that kinda sounds like fun." So I spent a few hours this afternoon making Creme Brulee. It was super duper fun. we even bought the special little bowls for them. and of course we got to use blow torches to burn the top. that was harder then I thought it would be, but it was super fun. AND, I nailed it on the first try. It was smoooth and creeeeamy and sweeeeet and just perfect. I was very pleased. Definitely a treat we're gonna have to make for special events. I'm excited.

So here we are, the last week of June. Honestly, I'm freaking out a little bit. July and August are by far the craziest months of the year. and this year, they are pretty jam packed. The beginning of July I'll be trying to balance working and helping out set up the VBS at my youth group, as well as help teach swimming lessons as SCC. (can't stay away from it. I honestly can't. it's like my home. ) On the 16th my dear cousins come into town from Louisiana for my Great Aunt and Uncle's 50th wedding anniversary, I'll probably be going up to Aunt Perky's house to spend a week with them, cause I freakin love my cousins. SO. EXCITED. the day after I get home from that I'll be going to the LEAD program with my youth group, which is a Catholic Leadership conference. I've heard a lot of fabulous things about it and I'm anticipating coming back totally in aw. that weekend I'll be attending Steubenville NW, which is another conference that kind of Connects to LEAD, but it's for like, EVERYONE rather then select kids. There's usually 2000 kids who come, not counting the adults. I've been before, and it is SO amazing. It was one of the highlights of my summer in 2009. I didn't get to go last year cause I was gone, but I'm so stoked to be going again. So that raps up July.
In August I'll be finishing up swimming lessons, Helping at VBS for a week, Plus Davids 5th birthday (HOLY BROWN COW) and my 16th birthday the next week. That week is usually jam packed with festivities. Then the week after that, Karen leaves and goes back to Michigan, and I start rehearsals for "Fighting for Myself" at TAC, which will be every week day for 4 weeks till the end of September. and that's basically my life in a really big nutshell.

Mmk. so now after writing that down I'm officially freaked out and a little stressed. good grief. ooooh yeah, and I still need to take my Math Placement test for the Falls.... crap. so I'll be studying for that... I have to take it by September. Meh. not fun. okay. I'm gonna go now. To finish up, life is good, I'm super happy. :)

oh look, a wall.

So, you know how God tells us to go out and tell people about him and be a light in the darkness and all that stuff? I have a huge hunger for that. I have a hunger to have in depth discussions about my faith and tell people why and what I believe in. I have this abundant amount of spiritual wealth and knowledge that has embedded itself into my heart, and I want to share everything I know with people.
So, God planted this hunger, knowledge, and this love in my heart. And I have the tools I need to do what I need to do. But when someone challenges my faith or asks a question, my brain shorts out. My response is usually something like "ah.. dowa...ahh... eeeeeeh...wha... nooo nooot rightttt!!!" And I get so flustered with my self because I have no articulation abilities what so ever, that I can't make an decent statement. It's quite literally like I run in to a wall and I can't get over it. I'm getting so tired of this being the case. Especially now in High School, where I really am getting challenged in my faith and people are asking me questions. I want to be able to say what I mean and mean what I say. I want to know that I'm saying the right thing. But it's soooo hard. :P I can articulate over the Internet. I have no problem with that. I have a friend that I'm constantly debating with, and there have been heated debates about abortion and birth control and other subjects I'm passionate about that I've discussed over the Internet. And that's fine cause I don't have to answer right away and I can really think about things and research and stuff. But once I'm on the spot face to face with someone, I can't do it. So I guess the real problem is thinking on my feet. I suppose practice makes perfect on that kinda thing. But it's so hard to know that I know the answers, but have to learn how to verbalize them. You would think that the two would go hand in hand. and I wish they did. but they don't. And it makes me angry. *sigh* So, I think I might start thinking up questions and verbalizing the answers here for a start. Just for a personal challenge. It will be my project over the summer.

You know, I'm starting to think I have a SuperWoman complex... infact, I think I know I have a SuperWoman complex. See, this problem is probably a perfectly normal problem that everyone comes across and learns to conquor. But me, being a Cc, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't have this problem, cause I'm superwoman and I can do things that normal people would have trouble with. And I guess it kinda hurts my pride when I find out I'm not actually SuperWoman. But maybe I should except that I'm a pretty normal flawed human being. And no body's gonna be disappointed in me if I can't do everything perfect the first time. It's really okay. And I will learn and grow and make mistakes. Cause that's just how life works, huh?

Well anyway. Life is good. I haven't started work yet, but I should be getting a call soon from my boss telling me to come in and do orientation and giving me hours and all that. I filled out my first W2 a few days ago. I decided that I don't actually like filling out form after form after form... It's really not all that fun... by the end of a 3 inch stack of papers, I was about ready to scream. hahahah. Luckily my mom was there to help me out and walk me through it. I would have been in tears if she hadn't been there. Good grief. Lemme tell ya, I'm glad I don't have to do that again for awhile. :P

So everyone's out of school for the summer. I'm a junior now. A lot of my friends are seniors now, which is completely mind blowing to me.... I'm actually not so thrilled about high school being halfway over... It occurs to me that my best friends will be off to college a year before I am.... That's terrifying. But I'm trying not to think of that. I'm glad summer's here... It's gonna be a crazy one. I think this has been one of the most intense school years I've had... Looking back to September when I was working on JUVIE, and then thinking about all the events that have happened from then to now, it's crazy. God is so good. Thinking about all the times where He has had his hand over the situation the whole time, even if it seemed like total chaos at the time. He was there taking care of it. :)

Otay. I'm off to go to a Graduation party for a friend. sorry this post was so scatterbrained. it's that kind of day.

"Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth."

Results

So guess what you guys? I'm officially an employed lifeguard. :D
sorry bout that last post. I was scared out of my mind. the swim test was a breeze. I didn't need to be worried. That's usually how it turns out about 95% of the time. But oh well. That's how the Cc rolls.
I'm SO EXCITED! The people who will be working with me are super fun and nice. I enjoyed my time with them. It just seems like a good situation all the way around. The job pays more then minimum wage, so that's definitely a bonus. I'll be making some lovely greens this summer, and I'm gonna be having a good time doing it! So I'm set! I'll be going in sometime this week to sign some papers and get my hours, and then I'm ready to roll.
Dats all for now!