What's going on in Ceci's head.

Hi.
I never know how to start these things... it seems kinda awkward right now because I haven't written here in... what, 7 months? more? I have no clue where to start. am I supposed to tell you about everything that's happened in the last 6 months? that would be a long post. I don't know. Well, this blog is titled "what goes on in Cc's head" so I guess I'll start with what's going on in my head...

hmmmm... Fall's coming. it's a pretty nice day outside. all my friends are back to school. one of my friends is even going to school in the Bahama's for 3 months. I'm pretty jealous. my sister Clara started her new life in Central Washington on Sunday, my other sister Karen continued her adventure in Michigan back in august, and my oldest sister Dana just started a new full time job. and here I am. a homeschooled sophomore in highschool. this is the point where I'm thinking "what about me God? isn't there something new and exciting you have for me?" I suppose that's a silly thing to think. I am actually going through a new and exciting experience right now involving theater.
I'm in a show titled "Juvie" at Theater Arts for Children. it's an ensemble piece set in juvie, and during the show you hear the story's of these kids and how they got there. I play the part of a gang leader who murders another girl during a gang fight. it's intense... I'm learning so much and it's really been the most amazing project I've ever been apart of. There's 13 of us. we range from the ages of 13 to 17. Just seeing all of us change and grow as actors has been incredible. our director has taught us how to become our character, and really learn what someone in that situation would be feeling and thinking. during one rehearsal we all sat down and wrote character bios so we could entirely know where we'd been, what we were feeling, and what was going to become of us. I've never been so understanding of my own character before... it's weird... it's not exactly pleasant to be inside of a murderers head, but just being someone else and exploring someone elses head for 4 weeks is really an incredible concept. once we step on to that stage, we're no longer ourselves. we ARE that character. I don't see my dear friend Nikki up there, I see June, who ran away from the fight and who's too much of a cowered to stand up and fight, and I hate her guts. I have never felt what I've learned to feel in these few weeks... I've never wanted to feel like that... but I'm so excited to be feeling it now. not because I like feeling pure hate, but because I know that I'm growing as an actress. I'm progressing and learning. and that is so exciting for me. to know I'm getting somewhere! closer to what I wanna become. that's the other thing. I realized during this show that, this is what I want to do. this is what I want to go to college for. I want to be an actress. now, I know that's not the only thing I want to do, but I definitely want to do this for the rest of my life. I'd love to major in theater. along side something smart and helpful to get a job of course. I'll probably end up double majoring. But I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
So, I guess the question I have for God is not "What about me", the question is "whats next for me?" whats gonna happen when this show is over? Which is a pretty retarded question to ask. it's like asking for one desert after another. what kind of ice cream am I gonna get tomorrow? I don't know. I guess I just have to live for the now and enjoy it, instead of constantly thinking about what happens next. That will probably make me a lot happier.

well, I guess that's what's going on in my head. I've decided I really need to write in this more often. Blogging is so much better then writing status' on facebook... hahaha I'll post some pictures soon. I've been doing a lot of photography lately. I got a fancy new camera for my 15th birthday. yes, I'm 15 years old now. how cool is that? honestly, it doesn't feel any different then 14. but that's okay with me. :)
mmmk, over and out for now, God bless. I gotta get ready for another rehearsal. :)
~Ceci