first post of 2011

What's on my mind? WHAT'S ON MY MIND!?!?!??!! auditions... auditions.. auditions...
Auditions for Anne of Green Gables are on sunday. I haven't auditioned for a musical in a very long time.. if you don't count Oklahoma. which I don't, because I didn't actually have to prepare a song for that. I'm good if you just hand me a script or a song or what ever, I don't get very nervous at all. but when I have to prepare something, I get nervous beyond all reason... I really have no confidence in my voice... I've heard it's beautiful, and I can sing quite well... but I just can't stand hearing myself sing. I'm slightly afraid of it actually.. it's very strange. but I'm afraid of how I sound. ahhhg. I don't know... I get panic attacks every time I think about it... plus I hear there's gonna be a ton of people auditioning... lotsa girls... lotsa competition... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
okay. NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT ANYMORE...

So, this is my first post of 2011. It's been an alright year so far. all 7 days of it. it's weird looking back on what I was doing a year a go... I was starting lifeguard training... getting a hang on that independence thing after my sisters had gone off to school. that was a pretty exciting month. I got my wisdom teeth out in February. hah. that was fun. glad I don't have to do that again. hahahahaha. a year ago from tomorrow, I found out my mother was pregnant... that was a ride... last year really was a tough one... I went through a lot of loss... especially when that baby died in march... but there was also a lot of exciting things that happened, too. it was a big theater year. I got to crew for a professional theater. I met all sorts of wonderful people there. got a bit of a sneak peak of what life is like when you do theater for a living. I also crewed for The Last Gladiator, I was in Juvie and A Christmas Story back to back. for someone who usually does 2 shows at most a year, that was a lot. and I learned SO much.
In the summer I taught swim and went to a family reunion and spent a week and a half with my wonderful out of town cousins whom I love very much. I'm hoping I can go visit them in Louisiana this summer. fingers crossed. :) I also turned 15... Got a wonderful camera, which is gonna help me along my road to hopefully becoming a photographer someday. oh yeah, and I learned that I love the guitar.
I met lots of wonderful people in 2010.... I met Rachael, who is now one of my best friends in the world, I met the Juvie gang, some of which are very close and dear to me now, and all of them I love with all my heart. some of my friendships were strained for a little bit through all the hard things that happened.... but they've grown stronger then ever now.
so I think 2010 was the "Cc learning what she loves to do, and Cc beginning to become the wonderful young lady God wants her to be, and learning who Cc needs to listen to" year. and I found out that my parents really are right... even when I think they're wrong.. they're right... and I love them. I love my whole family. and they love me. pretty cool. I think I did a fair amount of growing up, if that's okay and not egotistical to say. :)
Karen's going back to school tomorrow. we drove Clara back on sunday. it's hard to accept that winter break really is over. I don't like it. I like having all my sisters around. I miss them. it's hard knowing they don't know all my friends and they don't know all the adventures I'm going through, and I don't know all their adventures they're going through and the people met. and I don't like that. skype can only let you in on so much. and I'm usually away from home when we do skype. *sigh* so I'm not happy Karen's going home.
but, on the bright side, I'm going Ice Skating with my Juvies tomorrow. I'm very excited to see them. we're a fun group of kids. and then auditions on sunday. (AHHHHH)
And so, begins another part of Cc's life. whether or not I get into Anne. I think I'll find something else exciting and new to do if I don't. I have hope. God always has something in mind. even if it's not what I have in mind. that's another thing I learned last year. gah. God is GOOD.

I think that's all for now. I gotta go to bed. I'm gonna get up at 5:00 to drive Karen to the Airport. Meh.
I hope you all had a fabulous 2010, and I hope 2011 is even better. I love you! <3