Stressful waffles

"Look at you.... yuck" (NAME THAT MOVIE!)

So. We had Waffles the other day. Waffles are one of my family's favorites, but I've never liked them for some reason and I've never understood why I get this deep down angry feeling when I eat them. Yesterday while I was sitting at the table, weak from coughing with snot rag in hand, I realized the problem. Waffles are stressful. Here's why:

1. Waffles come off the iron nice and hot. They have this splendid crunch that everyone enjoys. But wait about 5 minutes or less, (which is about the time it takes to get the family to the table) and they are luke warm and are no longer crunchy. More like pancakes then anything.

2. (Or, "An Added Amount of Fat" )
Because they are no longer piping hot, they cannot melt butter. And when you do butter them, the butter builds up in the freakishly annoying square holes that somebody decided would be a good idea for waffles to have. And you have a waffle full of extra butter that you don't want nor need.

3. (Or, "The Syrup is a Lie")
After the waffles have cooled and you've finally, with lots of effort, managed to spread a reasonable amount of butter on (HAH.) you're ready for your syrup. So, you pour a artistic swirly of syrup, and then, to your dismay, your brother dumps his milk all over the floor and you hurry to clean it up, and when you return, the syrup you have poured is no where to be seen. So with a heaaaaavy sigh, you poor some more on, and you quickly spread it around.

4. As that first bite enters your ready mouth, the waffle is cold, there is too much butter, and you realize that the waffle has absorbed every bit of the syrup, and you now have more syrup then waffle in your mouth. but, this is your breakfast. And you must finish it. So you finish it, and you now have a very bad tummy ache.

And this, my friends, is why waffles are the most stressful breakfast on the planet.