inside the fuzzy head... and thoughts from "Anne"

So guess who's sittin here with a stuffy nose and a snot rag? das right. this girl right here. gahhh. I've got the after-show- sickness. I swear, I've gotten sick more times this year then last year altogether. gah. but I don't know. it's a relaxing sickness. it's like, God saying to Cc she needs to rest up a bit before starting another project. hahaha. yeaaaaaaah.
so. "Anne of Green Gables" closed with a bang this Sunday. man. it was an intense ride... so much happened in those 10 weeks... rehearsals were a perfect mixture of fun and professionalism. sometimes it would lean more towards fun and goofy, and it was really, really hard at times, emotionally, and challenging, there were times where I wanted to quit and just get it over with, there were times where I hit a wall and felt like I couldn't go on, but all in all, it was entirely worth it.and in then end we put on a show that touched the hearts of many, many people. it was really overwhelming and a little surreal hearing the compliments that people had for us. I had no idea what kind of incredible project I was getting into when I auditioned. "Anne" made more money for TAC then any of the shows in the past 2 years. (correct me if I'm wrong.. that's what I heard going around backstage) which was really incredible and good for TAC. they needed that. our cast was one of the most talented casts I've ever been apart of. It's really beautiful seeing such a mixed bag of actors and actress's come together and make a show that blew people away. we really came from all over the place. different personality's. different theater backgrounds. some being old veterans of TAC, some being brand new to theater, some being new to TAC, and that's usually how it is... but some how this cast was different from any cast I've ever been apart of.. I'm just not sure how to put words to it. I guess now that I really think about it, I think it was that EVER SINGLE ONE of us was there for one reason. we had one thing in common. We are passionate about acting. we weren't there for the socializing and the people, we weren't there because we were bored and we had nothing better to do, we weren't there because our parents forced us to, we weren't there because it's another show and you "might as well" but because we wanted to be there for the SHOW. to do what we love best and what we are the most passionate about. to act. we came there to learn and to grow. I remember during the first read through we had, I was a little skeptical to what this show would turn out to be... I remember thinking that it was a really "awkward"cast and I had no idea how we were gonna be able mesh together and make a show. and the interesting thing is, is that I don't think we ever did really mesh together. every single one of us stood out as an individual. we were all unbelievably talented and our characters stood out like a star. and you'd think that that would make a pretty odd show, but while we stood out and shined in our own way, we blended together. the chemistry between the characters was beautiful. I wanna say it was like an orchestra, but it wasn't. because can you distinctly hear and tell the different between one violin and another in the pit? no. not usually. unless there's a really bad violin in there. baha. which there wasn't. we were all different and had our own characters, and we owned them like none other. but we worked together and blended into one. I think that's as good as I'm gonna get to explaining it. hahaha. one of the most common compliments I got was that the depth of the characters was so deep and REAL. I got that from two professional actors. As I said, it was all very surreal. I had to constantly keep reminding myself that it all came from God. all our talent. all the glory went to God. and that's really where the most happiness came from. I learned that it's so easy to get caught up and excited about the compliments. but you can never be truly happy with yourself and unless you're doing it for God, and with God, and through God. I never really feel like I deserve the compliments I get. But I decided that instead of denying that I did a good job, or saying thank you with an awkward smile, I decided the best thing to do was to say thank you and then tell the person it was all God. And it really helped me keep the focus on Him. good stuff right there.
So all in all, Anne has been an amazing experience that I will never, ever ever forget. I'm so proud of everyone who was apart of it, and I'm so glad I was able to be apart of it. Marilla was by far the most complex deep, incredible character I've ever had the honor of portraying. it was really quite nerve racking playing such a well known character, cause I know everyone has their own idea on how she should be played. especially with the movies and all. It was really hard knowing what an incredible job Colleen Dewhurst does, and then thinking that the people coming to the show would expect me to live up to that. I really had to push that outta my mind and just go for it. make a completely original Marilla and make her my own. and it was reeeally haaaard, but it was a really fantastic challenge and I enjoyed it thoroughly. :)

What's next? well, in two weeks TAC is bringing back Juvie. we're going to do another weekend of shows like an encore. I'm pretty stoked about that. though, I'm not especially excited to go back into that dark stinky place again. it's a rather frighting place... I'm gonna have to pull Dina out of my pocket again, with all her terrifying emotion and pain and fear. I'm excited... but it's gonna be pretty draining. it'll be good to reconnect with that cast again though. I miss my juvie gang.
what else... I'm also getting more involved with my youth group which is really good and exciting. I joined the Young Apostles, which is like youth group, except more intense and deep, and you have to apply to get in, and it's for teens that want a far deeper relationship with jesus, and it's like, a second family, and it's just really supper duper awesome. hahahaha :D

This week I got certified for CPR. so I can OFFICIALLY get a job being a lifeguard now. this is for real this time. hahaha. I can get a job this summer. super stoked. :D

annnnd then there's school......... hmm.. yeah... yuck. we wont talk about that. bahaha

so that's the update on my life! after juvie, I'm taking a break from theater till next season. we'll see how good the show lineup is. but I need a break. I've just done three shows straight, and that's a lot for me... I haven't had a break since September. yikes. so yeah. time for Cc to focus on school... and family... and Jesus. and all that good stuff.

Otay. I think it's nap time for Cc. Cold meds are kicking in. baha. I'll try to blog more often. it's just been crazy lately.
peace out home skillet! (HAHAHA... I don't know why that cracks me so much... oh dear.)