so.... Tonight "JUVIE" Closed for the very last time. It's officially over. Dina doesn't have to go back in my pocket just in case I need her again, she can die. I'm thinking about holding a short memorial for her. Hahaha I feel like a character needs something bigger. It's a weird feeling... Knowing I will probably never be with that cast all together ever again... Man... We were close... that was family, right there. They talk about how a cast turns into family, but this one, we literally turned into family for each other. We've been through so much together... I saw every single one of that cast cry. I've seen them laugh until they've almost peed their pants. I've seen them scream until their throat cracks. I'm seen them go through withdrawals, or shoot up and die on stage... You don't go through things like this without coming out like family. When we're all together it just feels so comfortable and easy and like we've known each other for years. I don't really know how to explain it... *sigh* I'm gonna miss them all so much. Sure, I'll be in shows with some of them, but we'll never be all together again. And it's sad. Tonight to say goodbye, we played our favorite games all together. we laughed and laughed until we couldn't laugh any more. it was a good way to end it with a bang. I now have bruises from playing our favorite game, captain on deck. I'm surprised nobody broke a bone.
I've learned so much in just this show... and not just about acting. about life. How you can't ever, ever judge people. How everyone, EVERYONE is going through their own battle. So how dare you compare yourself to them, or judge them? I've learned that everyone has a soul. I mean, I knew that, but really. think about it. when you see that punk walking down a dark ally, that girl with the dark makeup at school, that homeless guy on the side of the road, the girl with the skimpy cloths on, what do you think? you think they're this dirty, creepy, zombie-ish, dark piece of crap that is the work of the devil. you think there isn't a speck of good in them. never has been. But you know what? They are Human. Just like us. God put them here. they have a past and a present and future. you have no idea what that person has been through to get them to where they are now. you don't know the pain they've felt. the fear they've felt. the loneliness. the abandonment. abuse. or maybe they chose that living and they like it. how did they get to that point? What influenced them? you really have no idea who they really are, what their back story is, what they've felt, you have no business looking at them and calling them vulgar names. cause they have a soul. God created them in his image. even if they don't know it. they. have. a. soul. we're here to love souls. not to scorn them. not to hate them. a few weeks ago I heard about a 13 year old girl who is pregnant. she is keeping the child. I was hearing this from some of my friends, and they were calling this girl some awful names and just pointing and laughing. And all I could feel was this strong, strong love for that girl. I don't know her. I don't know her name. I've seen some pictures of her, and she's just a girl. just a normal girl 13 year old girl. This girl has a family. goes to school. probably has no faith. was caught up in something she thought was love, and now has a beautiful life living inside her. she probably doesn't feel safe at home anymore, at school she gets bullied and tortured, laughed at, called names, but she is keeping that life. not just snuffing it out, out of fear or embarrassment or any of that. how much courage do you think it takes to do that? I don't care what her motives are for keeping it. she is going through something I can't even imagine going through. something a lot of people are too scared to go through. I honestly have the utmost respect and love for that girl. I don't care how that life got there. I don't care that she was having sex at the wrong time and age and that it was wrong. she is going through such a big battle right now. she has a soul. and it makes me so mad to hear her get verbally abused and judged when we have no flippen idea what she is going through. I haven't stopped praying for that girl and the baby since I heard. I wish I could meet her. I wonder if later in life I'll meet her. probably not. *sigh*
but anyway. I've always had a love for people... and being in Juvie just made me love souls all the more... Took it to a deeper level. It's terrifying thinking about how the fear and the pain and all that we learned to feel in warm ups and during the show, is only a fraction of what people going through the real thing. it's just heart breaking, the story's you hear. And there are so many more untold story's out there that we never hear about. *sigh* Anyway. I feel like I'm getting pretty repetitive now. Sorry. There's just a lot on my mind. It's a scary world out there. But I'm glad I got to dip my toes in a little bit.
This is my part of the performance. there are still things I would have liked to change, but I'm pretty sure I gave it my all last night. it sure felt like it. man... Click Here
TAC announced earlier today that this summer, they are doing another invite only social awareness play for girls. it deals with issues like Sex and teen pregnancy, drugs, bulimia, and much more... I want to get invited so, so bad. once you get a taste of this meaty, substance kind of drama, there's no going back. I just wanna learn more and dig deeper. Ahh. so fingers crossed about that. We'll see what God has in mind.
I start another month of swimming lessons this week. Two days a week. I'm excited. I haven't worked with kids in awhile. Well, awhile as in about a month. ahhahahaa I really love doing this... I love it so much. it's just a joy to work with those kids. It's my happy place.
otay. I think I'm done talking now. that was a long one... hahaha. hope everyone's having a lovely start of April. welcome to month 4 of 2011. only 8 more months to go with this year. scary. hehehehe. :)
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